Social Media Hygiene: Know When to Hold ‘Em, Know When to Fold ‘Em

For me, the best analogy to social media is gambling. More often than not, I’m going to lose because the house is designed to win. Those are the odds. True to form, last weekend I went down a rabbit hole on YouTube comments about a widely-publicized abuse scandal instead of attending a virtual karaoke party that I had been looking forward to. I did not feel like a winner that evening.When I ‘let the house win’ it’s often a clue that my wellness needs more of my care. In the last couple of years on a mental health recovery journey, my screen time has fluctuated in proportion to how unwell or well I feel. I show a lot less consideration for my health when I am feeling lonely, depressed, and/or triggered. After reflecting on the amount of time spent using social media, I found that my mood can be unhelpfully impacted by interacting with everyone’s go-to online platforms.  Social media is designed to keep people inundated with information, often leading to procrastination. Studies by Consciously Digital —a UK-based nonprofit that gives coaching sessions on how to spot “Persuasive Design” —demonstrate the ways media platforms are designed to hijack the user’s time and attention.

Persuasive Design is much harder for me to resist during a flare-up of anxiety or depression. Don’t get me wrong. I am relieved to have distractions when I’m struggling, especially when they help me make it through to a better day. But when I crawl into Instagram and lose track of time I later wish I could get back, that’s a red flag that I may need to put more attention towards my self-care. Corny as it sounds, I think of my mental health like a garden that will bloom if I tend to it. Nurturing growth helps me to keep moving in the general direction of wellness.  At the moment, a few of my favorite self-care habits are peer support [MHASF support groups], daily gratitude lists, dance, and three social media agreements. None of these are done with perfect grace.

KNOW WHEN TO WALK AWAY: 3 Social Media Agreements

1. I participate: I am an active advocate *with* myself and *for* myself in recovering and maintaining my own mental health. I support myself and my community by  minding my self care. 2. Regularly Reevaluate: I agree to ask myself every couple of weeks whether my media habits are broadly hindering or helping my wellness. I can pause at any moment and rate my wellness spectrum— one side is zero (“Not great at all!”) and the other is ten (“Life is beautiful!”). I strengthen myself every time I ask what actions I can take to move toward the direction of “Life is beautiful.”3. Keep a Thought Diary I agree to keep a thought diary and use writing prompts. I might ask a question like “Am I using this platform for procrastinating instead of moving forward with long-term goals?” Critical thinking about my media diet gives me a measure of my current health. It’s not the only measure, but it’s a helpful one to have. 

Self care does not come easy to me, and while I crave structure, I’m not great with rules. In preparation for challenging mental health days, I need habits that are easy to remember and will work when I most need them to help me recover quickly from a setback.The Three Agreements remind me to check in with myself and try to keep it ‘Goldilocks’ —not too hot, not too cold, but just right.