Beyond the Binds of the DSM: Breaking Boundaries and Being Your True Self

“You better take this medication, or you might go back to the hospital and end up in a conservatorship like Britney Spears,” said another cold, apathetic psychiatrist who met with me for five minutes to prescribe a medication that would eventually worsen my symptoms.Over the past few months, I have set off on a journey three years in the making: tapering off of one of my pharmaceutical medications. The preparation for this seemingly minor health change has spurred my deepest growth as a mental health peer. This journey has involved immense introspective and extrospective work for me. Some of this work has been exciting and enlightening, such as discovering the life choices outside of medication that can improve my holistic health—physical, mental/emotional, and spiritual. Looking back at this convoluted process, it has become surprising to me how much work it took getting to know myself.

MORE THAN A DIAGNOSIS

The ways in which psychiatrists treated me during the height of my mental health crisis diminished my sense of self, making it challenging, at times, to see myself as more than a diagnosis. Remembering different doctors who would see me for a few minutes and tell me I did not have self-control led me down a dark path of believing that I had lost control of my personhood. Based on various conversations, especially with other young women, I now understand that it is not uncommon for doctors to infantilize young women or marginalized groups of people going through mental health crises and, at their worst, use manipulative language to “encourage” the patients to take medication, even if it is not the right one for them.Six years of grieving the loss of my father, recovering from a traumatic mental health crisis, graduating from college, and starting my career path in the nonprofit world has strengthened me via intense and beautiful self-discovery. I found that sharing my story allows me to help people, including myself, to process difficult chapters in life. As I have continued to become more confident in my decision-making skills [an aspect that has often been anxiety-inducing for me], it has become easier for me to stand up for myself. Rediscovering creative outlets like writing and dancing, as well as surfing, yoga, hiking in nature, and nourishing healthy relationships have all aided in this transformation of self.

PEER-ING AHEAD

Discovering MHASF and the peer support programs offered by the organization has also been life-changing. Knowing that there are communities out there to help people struggling through difficult periods in time without invalidating their agency is beautiful to me. And what furthers that beauty is meeting people who have faced similar mental health struggles, yet now thrive and even help others in the process. Fortunately, I had peer support from loved ones, but learning that the same empathy exists via structured peer support at MHASF was a wonderful revelation to me. It has empowered me to be honest and confident when talking to doctors, so that they work with me, and I know that I have the ability to make the choices I want to make about my health once again.Know that if you are feeling invalidated or unsupported or infantilized by your psychiatrist, you are not alone. And you do not have to stay with that doctor. Learning that I have the choice to leave a relationship with a doctor, just like with any other relationship, has been imperative in my growth and ability to take control of my own health. And knowing I have a support group of peers by my side has made all the difference. If you are ever feeling stuck in this way, I hope you remember that you are not alone and we at MHASF are a phone call away. We are here to support you as a person, not a diagnosis code.

The traditional medical model of treatment is one of many modalities in addressing mental health. Whether this model works for you or not, MHASF wants to empower the San Francisco Mental Health Community. For the past 75 years, MHASF has been a driving force in opening up mental health recovery to peer-driven resources. In May 2022, MHASF hosted Intersecting Paths to Recovery: a Webinar on Holistic Healing. Participants practiced meditative, community-based, and trauma-informed recovery. We hope that MHASF can continue advocating for peers with lived experience to be in the driver’s seat of their own mental health journey. We know that with your help, we can do so for another 75 years and more. Please visit our donation page, and consider giving a gift to sustain the future of peer-driven mental health for all.