Living with Laughter

Luke Sterling opens up about his hopes, dreams, and pursuit of free hugs.

When I heard about the Mental Health Association San Francisco’s Redefining Crazy: Living with Laughter program this past summer I knew I had to attend, and it didn’t disappoint. Me and the other community members shared the chance to laugh with some truly funny comedians. We also discussed serious topics, like how we manage our mental health with self-care and also humor as a tool.I’m just starting my junior year in high school. I’m considered a funny guy,  from a long line of Irish Americans who’ve enjoyed making people laugh—or at least trying to. But during the pandemic, when my OCD flared up real bad, I realized that creating comedy meant more to me than just having fun.Like many others, my problem is negative thought loops. My mind will sometimes focus on a negative thought—sometimes about something real, but more often it’s something imagined that I’ve done—and I fret about it. At my worst, I have a hard time escaping these loops. Even if I recognize what’s going on, the thoughts hold a power over me that is terrifying. They definitely make me feel miserable, when they come around.In addition to taking care of myself with daily routines—like getting enough sleep, and going to counseling session—I found my sense of humor has helped.

How the Haha’s Help

Laughter is a physical sensation. When I’m open to making people laugh, and laughing with them, my body reacts in a physical way. The other stuff I’m doing to treat my mental illness is mainly intellectual and emotional. Finding time for laughter in my day, or making other people laugh puts me in a different physical space, which jump-starts my ability to go to a different, more pleasant place, mentally. Laughter acts as a crowbar, yanking me out of my rut.Another way I’ve channeled laughter—and this one is particular to me, but could be an approach by others who are open to getting out of their comfort zone—is by creating an alter-ego. My alter-ego is Luke Sterling, a sweet kid who tries every holistic remedy, does yoga every morning to start his day, and doesn’t have a lot of friends because he’s considered a bit soft. He’s not the kind of guy to “suck it up” and pretend like he’s a tough high school kid who doesn’t get sad or feel down.I have created dozens of videos and pictures of Luke in a variety of awkward situations, in Sasha Baren Cohen style. For example, Luke walked the streets of San Francisco with a Free Hugs t-shirt, asking passers-by if they were feeling happy today and offering hugs as his remedy. Luke also went to Big 5 to buy some baseball gear and caused a stir by unashamedly asking the clerk about the basics of the game, something your typical sixteen year old boy might be too embarrassed to do.

Mental Health Character Work

Putting Luke in funny situations lets me blow off steam by making a bit of fun at the side of myself that is always looking for ways to find a long-term solution or recipe for staying mentally-healthy. While I know I need to tap into the love and kindness of the universe to care for my mental illness, I also can’t help but see the funny side of it.No matter how cringey Luke acts, no matter how embarrassing he is, strangers have always treated him with kindness. Stripped of his Free Hugs t-shirt, pendant, and goofy smile, Luke is me. It is touching to me how kind people are when presented with someone who is obviously a bit lost, needing basic care and a soft touch.I also want to say that it’s possible to thrive with mental illness, even if it takes a lot of energy to manage. I serve as president of my class in high school, I’m on the baseball team, and I have good friends in my life. I’m lucky that I have found tools to help me manage and overcome the mental health challenges I face.I wanted to write this essay because the humor program at MHASF really hit home for me. Especially for younger people like me, it’s important to seek situations where laughter can help them feel better. I know cliches aren’t usually funny, but sometimes they are true. Example: Sometimes laughter is definitely the best medicine.